What? Tomorrow's Friday

If Alaina thinks I'm going to blog again, she better back her shit up.

~|~

          Yes it is.

          Complaint:  Brett Favre.  Honestly, if you want to retire, then go for it.  If you don't want to retire, stop messing with the entire National Football League and stay.  It really is that simple.  I'm more bothered by you than Jimmy-Fallon-in-a-tree-pretending-to-be-Robert-Pattinson-being-bothered.

          Yeah.  That bothered.

          Also...  Your last name is all messed up.  It should be either spelt 'Farve' or pronounced 'Fav-ray'.  You decide, but you really ought to get that figured out., too.

          Complaint:  Kim Jong il.  You are a short little man and obviously a pushover if it only takes Bill Clinton to convice you.  I mean, you know he has lied before.

          Complaint:  That weird one-way, because when I biked into town the other day, I got very discombobulated about what road I should take, and almost was pancaked by an inconsiderate Toyota Sienna due to the lack of sidewalks on both roads.

          Complaint:  Big UPS trucks, especially when they ride on your butt all the way to Maple Grove even though your unintentional weaving and gas-breaking give you away as a very inexperienced driver.

          And you should nix the openly fruity brown shorts that are part of the men's uniform.  I swear those guys even wear them in the winter.  You really are influencing fruity behavior.

          Last complaint:  Birthdays, especially 16th ones that occur the day before school starts.  There are no words for you, you just really suck.

[Why is that bolded?  I can't figure out how to unbold it, so it will just kind of pop out of this entry for no reason at all, just because it enjoys being a little flamboyant every once in awhile.]

~|~

          Speaking of Hot [adjective]...Hot Mess comes out next week. If I could dance, I would be.

Alright, so I was thinking...How many episodes of Veggie Tales are there? Because the only one I remember is the episode where Larry is singing about Water Buffaloes.

          Everybody's got a water buffalo

          Yours if fast but mine is slow

          Everybody's got a water buffalo-

          STOP STOP STOP!

           Everyone does not have a water buffalo!

           We'll get letters saying 'where is my water buffalo?'

...

Something like that.

            I'm sure Hot Mess will have some lyrical genius like that. Possibly lyrical genius in Spanish?

Anyway.

            Am I the only one who used to love The Land Before Time?

            Duckie was my favorite. Us swimmers stick together. I like Spike too...he was just extremely relatable.

My childhood was filled with only the best Disney moves like-

             Okay, I'm sorry but I just saw a commercial advertising soy. Are you kidding?! NOTHING is going to make soy appealing. AND- holy crap- I was at Wal-Mart today and I saw the most disgusting thing.

              Jolly Rancher SYRUP.

                  You're supposed to use it like chocolate syrup on ice cream and such. Can you say disgraceful?! What kind of disgusting, sorry sob of a person would mess with Jolly Ranchers?!  I just-gah! I can't even discuss this with you.

Anyway.

                 On to reminiscing about my pleasant youth.

I was a fan of classics like Aladdin, The Lion King, The LIttle Mermaid. Unfortunately I was not able to appreciate the brilliance of Alice in Wonderland until I was more mature.

                 I never gave a care about the weather

                 Because it never gave a care about me.

Hmm. Why does that sound so familiar?

                 I really am upset about the Jolly Rancher nasty-ness and I don't think I can continue.

~|~

          I'm setting a record for most blogs in a row written by the same person.

          Although, those celebrities who blog by themselves probably already hold this record.

I digress.

          I'm just really in a lot of pain. I wish I could explain.

          Unintentional rhyming.

          I don't know what else I was going to blog about. I really needed something to take my mind off of my current situation.

          Saran Wrap and Icepacks. I wish I could explain.

          I'm sitting here. Watchin' Ed, Edd & Eddy. Writhing. But enough about me.

          My dog is sitting next to me. On a mountain of blankets that were previously my own. Watchin' Ed, Edd & Eddy.

          I really don't have the will to type anything more.

It's been pleasant, dampening your day.

~|~

          I am in awe. I cannot believe we managed to BS 36 blogs. We didn't even think we'd make it past 5! Okay, so what if we've only peaked at 4 visitors? Who cares? Besides, this blog was only created for our own amusement and to fill our not-so-exciting lives with oh-so-exciting blogs about the goings-on in our lives, like butterfly festivals and Hello Kitty Band-aids.

          I repeat: I am in awe.

          Since this will be my third blog in a row I think it's safe to say that I really need a hobby. Any ideas? But nothing that requires hand-eye coordination/counting. So ix-nay on the knitting and such like hobbies. Nothing that requires physical activity...no sports. I wouldn't really like anything that you have to think about like chess...or....shuffle board. Probably nothing that I would have to stay still for a long amount of time. I.e. writing, reading, coloring....drawing. Anything that requires skill is out of the question. It would probably be for the best if I didn't have to join any clubs or forced social situations...or talking to other people. Camping, hiking, catching bugs, dealing with animals are bad ideas as well.

          If anyone knows of a hobby that fits that criteria, I would be open to suggestions.

          The only thing that comes to mind is doing laundry...but...I don't know.

           Bleach freaks me out.

   ~|~

          Today I had a most successful outing where I made a few very valuable purchases that I now feel the need to share with you. Just spreading the love and sunshine around.

1. Hey Monday- Hold on Tight.

          After procrastinating for weeks-months-rather, I have finally bought Hey Monday's debut album. I have no idea why I didn't buy it earlier. They are definitely one of the better up-and-coming bands I've heard. Some amazing vocals and good lyrics. I had heard them at the Folie a Deux tour and thought they might've been a little more pop-ish, but I was sadly mistaken. Cassadee can sing.

      2. The Most Awesome Pair Of Converse Known To Man.

I've been having way to much fun with photo editor lately. But look at the shoes, they look god-like.

         Anyway, they pretty much make me feel like Duckie. But that just makes them that much more appealing.

~|~

"Despite my presence at this event, I will forever remain a Duck-man."

          I would like to thank my most generous associate for oh-so splen[didly] stepping down from her title.

                                                                                                   [Does anyone else see a funny word?]

          I would also like to thank my inspiration....

                                                                                 Sisky Business.

          And my dog.

                                 The Fish.

     Without these wondrous people, I still could have won this title....but it's nice to let them think

they're actually a part of this.

And I would, of course, like to thank the fans.

Of which,

I have none.

          With the winnings of this award and title ( 4 dollars, 8 shillings, 2 Taiwan dollars and a coffee mug with a picture of Guy Ripley) I plan on purchasing the following.

******

~|~

          I'm over it.  Short blogs are for squares.  [And what exactly is a square anyway?  A person misfortunately born shaped like a cube?]  I'm not bitter.

          If I was said "Rectangular Prismic Being", my name would be Haley.  But I'm not bitter.

          I will just step down gallantly and respectfully, assuming all credits not to myself but to the Quadrangular Winning Recipient.  I am not the least bit bitter.

          Bitterness?  What is this word?  Hah.  I'm... above all types of poor sportsmanship.  I'm the sportsman everyone invites to future contests similar to this because of my caring sportian ways.  They call me up and ask me to their lavish parties and discos because I'm such an unbitter individual.

          I pride myself in being a gracious loser [or, as I prefer to say, nonwinner], who smiles and hands over titles like so.  I don't scream and shout.  I shy away from making faces behind the winner's back.  I may step on the heel of the winners shoes every now and again, but what do you expect?  Repetitive accidents happen.

          Bitter?  No.  Bitterness is for squares.

~|~

          I am not, dear readers, typing this from a cellular device, so you may want to reject this blog from the past. It's practically as old as the VHS. But if you are like me, you don't care and will continue reading.

          This weekend me and my cohort attended a-in my opinion- life changing event.

The annual Butterfly Festival.

No shit.

           Since, this was such an inspiring occurance I feel the need to share it with you. Highlights follow.

________________

Yes...that was a muffin and a giant chicken.

I think they've had enough.

~|~

Defeat.

I present to you the shortest blog.

Sponsored by Haley:

My greatest sympathies, [for your ears] Alaina.

I win.

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          Hello, my name is Alaina.  I like to talk [correction: type] to myself in a small cyberbox called www.whattomorrowsfriday.webs.com.  If you are reading this, there is no point to clicking that link yonder to the left because it will just bring you right back to the homepage.  This is a fact.

          Yesterday I went to the Target Center and got my ears blown off listening to hysterical girly screeches and sobs.  The Jonas Brothers put on a good show, blah blah blah, Jordin Sparks has a good voice, yadda yadda yadda, I colored a Burger King Crown specially printed for the concert, neener neener, Emily almost fell off the balcony...  This is all fact.

          I broke the belt on the lawn mower.

[You what?!]

          Yeah... I think it was all because of that freakin' hammer!  Once again, who puts a hammer in the back  yard?  There is nothing to hammer back there!  GAH!

          You might have noticed this entry is uncharacteristically sparse and less rant-y than usual; you're right.  I just wanted to blog twice in a row for the all the glory and what have you.

          Signing off on the shortest blog in history... Laterz

~|~

          26 is my soccer number.  Just saying.  We had a game today.  We lost.

Sniff.

          Moving forward, we got a cabin.  As in, the Rooker family can now leave their home and stay elsewhere.  Elsewhere being a small red box on Lake Marie in South Haven.

          Ever heard of South Haven?  Prob'ly not, considering it's population...

...No, I'll leave you hanging there.

['What's the population of South Haven, Alaina?  Please, tell us.  Is it smaller than our town?  Under 10,000?  Slightly over?]

          Anyway, it's unbelievably close to Annendale, and so that's where I'm going to be for the next few weeks of my life.  And I thought rentals were work.  We need to reclaim the place from tall grass and weeds first.  That's all I'm going to think about.  If someone mentions any other problem area, I'll go all second grade on them by plugging my ears and drowning out their noise by singing a loud rendition of...

          Not Mortal Kombat.  There is absolutely no way I can top Haley's cherubic key-vocals.

          I'll sing the Big Comfy Couch Song.  No regrets, Big Comfy Couch was the coolest show ever.

[C'mon, I need to know.  What is the population of South Haven?  I could care less about the BCC.  I don't know why, but suddenly this tidbit seems like it could be valuable information.]

          NEVER!

          Now, I have a question that you, the audience, can answer.  [Or me n' Haley under various aliases]

          WHY IS EVERYBODY DYING?

          Celebrities, at least.

          Farrah Fawcett, Ed Mcmahon, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays...

Is the Shamwow guy next?  I need your theories.  Like fish need air.  And water.  Together.

          [Like, they still breathe air, but not really, because they die without water, so they need both, like the twin cores need each other to like feed off each other until the headmaster dies and Harry's wand breaks and You-Know-Who sneaks into Dumbledore's grave and nicks the Elder Wand?]

          I really hope OxyClean does okay without the Chuck Norris of Advertising on their side.

[Please, please, PLEASE, I'm dying to know, how many people live in South Haven?!]

          Oh no. NO!  I couldn't.  Stop it!

          Cough. 193 people.  Cough.

          AHH!

~|~

          I'm not asleep yet, don't worry. Been up working on a thing for my grandparents anniversary and got done a few hours ago, just to find out that I'm not able to burn it onto a CD. So, naturally, I screamed a little bit and kicked some shit. All in all? I'm still not asleep.

          Let's see, what else is new?

Ah, the other day I found a tick on me. And had an attack of sorts...

          Okay, I'm not going to do THAT again. That was a bust the first time and right now, I've had waaaay too many attacks to list...

           But honestly? I hate ticks. They are nasty....

And you know, it wouldn't even be so bad if like, rabbits could subsitute for ticks. If rabbits sucked blood like ticks, I wouldn't even mind. Because you can avoid a rabbit.

           I mean if you saw a rabbit you could say,

           "Oh, hey, there's a rabbit. It's going to want to suck my blood and possibly give me some disgusting disease, I know! I'll avoid it!"

            But with TICKS you can't do that because they're so freaking tiny that you don't even know that they're crawling all over you!

Anyway, I cleaned my room after that and took a shower.

            What, else? What, else....

I WENT INSIDE A CAVE! Or...perhaps tunnel is a better word.

            I'm not going to tell you why....or who I was with.....or where said tunnel was located.

Possibly Fairyworld.

Possibly Outworld.

Which incase you didn't know is from Mortal Kombat. (MORTAL KOMBAT!! Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo) [THEME SONG!] (Liu Kang, Johnny Cage,....Rayden?, Sonya, Sub-zero, Scorpion....) Okay, so I may have possibly forgot the order in which their names are listed but you get the picture. It's intese either which way.

I digress.

I went through a tunnel.

Santi.

~|~

Right.  So say it took you an hour to read one of these little web hiccups I've grown so fond of typing up at weird times of the day.  Did you know it would take you an entire day to finish off this website?!  Seriously, don't do that.  Just skim.  Skimming is completely acceptable on What?  Tomorrow's Friday.  We accept you and your skimming habits.

Y'know who's funny?  Craig Ferguson.

Y'know who's not funny?  Jim Gaffigan.

Their names rhyme, too.  Whoa was that not planned.

Since I'm home every day of the summer, my parent's have unofficially dubbed me as the Slavey Girl of the family.  Today I cleaned my room, dusted, manually scrubbed the pool, and mowed the lawn upon request of my lovely mom and dad.

MOWED THE LAWN!  To heck with driving, I'm devoting all of my time to mastering the skill of grass trimming now.  Barnes & Noble probably has a book on it.  Wikipedia probably has an article or two.  Hm.  Study materials.

Also I'm not driving anymore 'cause I hit a box and some fishing poles while backing out of the garage yesterday.  Bad news.

Oh, Lawn Care.

I know you all are very excited that I finally found my niche in the transportation and service industries [Professional Lawn Care] , but I might have left out a little detail that might affect that mood.

I mean it was all going great until I ran over a hammer in the backyard.

WHO THE NELL PUT A HAMMER IN OUR BACKYARD?!

Anyway. I broke the hammer.  And possibly the lawn mower.

~|~

          I had a thought. A rare occurance in my life and it frustrated me.

What happens when we have so many blogs that the name of the blog doesn't fit in the title and we can't add a witty one-liner after it? What in the nell are we going to do? How are YOU, the people, going to know what the blog is about?! It'll be chaos. I mean honestly, I don't think we'll ever get that far....but you never know. We have to be thinking ahead.

          On a less disturbing note, I slept until one in the afternoon today. And let me tell you it was heaven. I know I shouldn't be wasting my summer away by sleeping in late every single day (even though I plan to do just that) but my decision to sleep in was completely justified by the fact that it is a horrible day today. It's been one of those 'cloudy-and-kinda-humid-but-not-going-to-rain-just-to-annoy-Haley-to-no-end' numbers. So, I feel no guilt about sleeping the whole day.

           That's the update from me. I've done my duty and blogged. Now we wait for Alaina. Don't hold your breath.

Santi.

 ~|~

Welcome to my blog entry in which I make a glorious comeback and gain back the love and devotion of all my wonderful blog reading pals, simply by wishing you a:

Happy First Day of Summer Vacation!

Happy British Friday!

Happy What? Tomorrow's Fri-

         Wait.  Today is Friday.  No matter, just erase that last little tiding from your mind.  It might not be your first day of summer vacation, either.  Hm.  My bad if it isn't.  The weather was fantastic, by the way, so you kids still in school really missed out.  You were all probably taking finals while I slept in and tanned and ate potato chips.  It's a shame you couldn't do the same, it really is.

          Tanning is so boring.  Let me remind you, I was out there all day.  My face is the only thing that burned, and, ironically, it's the only part of me that I put sunscreen on.  Twice.  SPF wenches.  Otherwise I didn't get any darker  than I was yesterday.  Not evenly, at least.  From now on, I give up on Coppertone and sitting still for longer than five minutes.

          Alot of people have been calling our house lately on a house for rent.  So half the time the phone rings, I don't get past checking caller ID.  I just kinda... let it ring.  Ever done that?  It's really odd to just sit there and try to completely ignore the millions of phone ringers going off in your house.  They've also left a lot of messages, and I'm not sure why, but all of these people have different accents. [Everyone that was over last night knows exactly what I'm talking about]  There was one guy who reminded me of Borat, and another 50 Cent.  I'm waiting for a Demi Moore-esque one or someone with an odd voice like that, that would be freaky.  It would probably be my ringtone for the rest of the year.

Anyway I need to help my mom with Syd's birthday party before all the tweens attack and demand more food.

Laterz! [It's not a typo, that Z is supposed to make me sound more hip and approachable.  Syd's friends told me so.]

~|~

          It's been far too long.

A few things have happened since my previous blog (which I would like to point out to Alaina. I have now blogged more than she has.) they are as follows:

• I killed a spider.
• I was proud of myself for getting that close to a spider.
• I had a change of heart and felt guilty about ending poor Paco's life.
• I went to a Fall Out Boy concert. Where I had an attack of sorts.
• I watched the new TAI TV's and also had an attack of sorts.
• I saw a movie. Night at the Museum and I must say that it was one of the best movies I've seen all year. It's been a sucky time for the movie industry. I think they must've fired anyone capable of writing a funny movie.
• It finally stopped snowing here.
• I got harrassed by Spanish speaking women, baring hair products while at the Mall of America.
• ....Then proceeded to have another attack.......
• Of sorts.

And that's pretty much it. And that pretty much fulfills my quota of excitement for the year. Except for the fact that I plan on going to The Cab concert and Panic at the Disco and Fall Out Boy this summer. It should be more activity than the other years of my life combined and multiplied by six. I hope there's enough days to catch up on sleep after all of that.

I don't think there will ever be enough days to recover.

It'll be worth it.

Possibly.

 ~|~